ADVICE FOR THE NEWLY-MARRlED HUSBAND:
1. The Sunnah is to say to them in congratulations:
Baarakallahu laka wa baaraka 'alaika wajama'a
bainakuma fi kheir
and not use the congratulations of Jaahiliyyah.
2. Also from the Sunnah for the one wishing to marry is
to seek a wife whom it is thought will provide many
children, as he (S) said "Marry the beloved who have many
children, because I will vie through you with the nations
on the Day of Resurrection."
3. Family Planning/Birth Control: It is something
introduced amongst the Muslims by their enemies and it is
from the Unbelievers and weakens the strength of the
Muslims. The idol-worshipping people will perhaps fall
into this, but the Muslims should be far from it and from
this plan to weaken them.
The Muslim marries as a means of nearness to Allaah,
as the Messenger (S) said "O youths, he amongst you who
is able, then let him marry for it is better for
withholding the gaze and better for the private parts and
he who is not able - then let him fast - for it is a
shield for him."
And the Muslim is rewarded for fulfilling his desire
- as is shown in the clear hadeeth: that when a poor
companion came to the Messenger (S) and spoke of the rich
and the Messenger (S) replied "Verily there is for you in
every 'tasbeeh' sadaqah and in every 'tahmeed' sadaqah
and in every 'takbeer' sadaqah and in every 'tahleel'
sadaqah and ordering good is sadaqah, and forbidding evil
is sadaqah and repairing relations between two people is
sadaqah and in the sexual intercourse of one of you is
sadaqah." They said: "Does one of us fulfilling his
desire receive reward for it?" He (S) said "Yes, if he
did that in what is forbidden then would he not be
sinful?" They said: Yes, O Messenger of Allaah." So he
(S) said "Then likewise if he does that in what is
permissible then he receives reward."
So when the Muslim marries - he does not only fulfill
his desire but also carries out Allaah's orders.
Furthermore, by marrying he intends to increase the
side of the Ummah
Further, he intends if he is granted children to
bring them up and train them - and they will after his
death be a source of good for him. The hadeeth: "When the
son of Adam dies his actions are cut off except for
three: a recurring charity, or knowledge from which
benefit is derived or a pious son who supplicates for
him."
Further, if he has children and they die young -
then there is for him reward for that - Paradise.
Therefore the Muslim who marries and has children -
either they outlive him and make du'aa for him - or they
die before him and he is promised Paradise; hadeeth of
the Messenger (S): "There are no two [married] Muslims -
of whose children - three die except that the Fire will
not touch them - except for the oath (see Sooratul-Maryam
aayah 71 to 72) causes that." They said: "And two, O
Messenger of Allaah?" He said "And two." His Companions
said, so that we thought that if we were to say "And
one?" that he would say "And one."
So this practice is a practice of the Unbelievers
having no connection with Islaam and does not befit the
intellect of the Muslim who lives for Allaah and lives
with his children as righteous worshippers of Allaah -
and that their rewards may be written in his record and
his wife's, and that if they die early - then Allaah has
promised Paradise for the parents - and that the Fire
will not harm them.
ABOUT MUT'AH MARRIAGE:
There are many ahadeeth about the forbidding of
Mut'ah marriage in Bukhaaree and Muslim; from them: "That
the Messenger (S) forbade Mut'ah until the Day of
Resurrection."
That it was not 'Umar (R) who made it forbidden, but
he affirmed the ruling conveyed by the Messenger (S).